Hopeless & Grateful

It’s a surreal time right now—and I blame the quarantine. People all over the world are staying at home, not knowing what tomorrow will bring. The coronavirus has changed the world—and it has changed my perspective on many things. It’s not easy to think straight when the “storm” has just begun. Words like total lockdown, death, pandemic, etc. are suddenly part of our everyday lives—and nobody really knows for how long. One thing I quickly realized is how fortunate we all are to consider “going to school,” “going to work,” or “going to the movies” as the most normal thing in life. 

As of right now, I’m practicing social distancing with one roll of toilet paper left in my bathroom. But instead of panicking, I’m trying to make sense of what’s happening—but to be honest—it’s difficult. It’s difficult to see people hoarding food and essentials, while the elderly are left behind. It’s difficult to see politicians use the global virus to promote hate, racism, and selfishness. It’s difficult to hear people still call it a “hoax”. It’s difficult to watch young adults disobey the rules to STAY AT HOME in order to flatten the curve. 

There are so many things that make me sad right now. I’m sad because I feel helpless. I feel helpless because I don’t know when I’ll be able to work again. I feel helpless because I don’t know when I’ll see my friends and family again. I feel helpless because I don’t know how to pay my bills—just like millions everywhere. 

But at the same time, I feel grateful. Grateful for our planet forcing us to be good. Fewer airplanes, fewer cars, fewer people running around. We’re doing ourselves and future generations a favor by sitting on our couches. Being able to slow down is actually a gift. I’ve never appreciated nature more. Birds chirping, quiet streets—suddenly, I’m looking at everything and everyone differently. But most importantly, I feel grateful for all the scientists, doctors, nurses, delivery drivers, and grocery workers. They are the most selfless and brave, trying to fight against this powerful disease.

–Natascha Wittmann, journalism student at UCLA