COVID-19. Full state shutdowns and stay at home orders mean isolation from other human beings. That is, of course, unless you’re an essential employee. This is the time when people show their true colors. Some people are thankful and smiling, appreciative. Others are angry, violent, looking at all of us as though we are already plagued with the virus while at the same time expecting us to be here. We limit the number of customers in the store and force them to stand behind bright blue lines taped to the floor. It’s a time where people have no choice but to put their lives on pause. People up for promotion are busy working at home, hoping it all makes a difference when they go back to work full time. People wanting to start new careers are welcomed to do so the following year.
Most of all, it’s a time of self-discovery. No more nights bar hopping until 2 am, forgetting my name and every problem surrounding me. No more losing myself in work and school as an excuse to avoid everything else. Both eyes are wide open, looking at me for me; nothing else. I begin to break from bad habits instead of continuing them, no longer unaware of how toxic they are through the haze as life passes me by. I find myself doing things I am passionate about again, not as tied to the responsibilities that used to restrict me. Quarantine is an excuse for rebirth; to find the me that existed before I forgot who I was. The me that isn’t strapped down by societal norms, depression, and anxiety. In chaos and uncertainty, I somehow find clarity. I never knew what it was like to feel hopeless and enlightened at the same time. I blame the quarantine.
–Victoria McGurn