Sligthly curious,
I sit, I wonder
The glass in front of me
shows a world in colour
The bushes, the trees
All that blossoms
I want to feel
Smell, perceive
Kiss every living soul
Slightly impatient,
I crack another
Bone in my body
In search of hobbies
The days go by
With nothing at all
Is it Wednesday? I guess
So fill it up
and wash the emptiness away
Sligthly insane,
I start to question
Whether the nature of our actions
is truly for the better
I see them, I feel them
Yet still, I miss them
Let me see pop, how is nana?
No filter, no sanitizer,
It drives me banana
Sligthly in sync,
I get the fever
Roll up my sleeve
The obscure routine
It's too much to cope with
Piling a need within me
Convinced it helps, stay safe, stay clean, Cross my heart, never would
I blame the quarantine
–Leslie Valle, Denmark
***
299 English & Chinese Words
April is the cruellest month, bringing
Recoveries out of a pandemic, flattening
Curves and sheltering in place, social
Distancing, each with six feet between.
Deliverers kept us supplied, ringing
Doorbells in masks, feeding
Many lives with food from restaurants closed.
Summer surprised us, coming over the Spring-
Break, extended, into classes online;
We stopped in the Zoom meeting,
And went on in private chat, into WhatsApp,
And drank coffee, and talked for an hour.
我根本不是 Latina, 我是America来的, 真的是Chinese。
And when we were children, staying at home,
My cousin’s, she took me out on a walk,
And I was frightened. She said, Mark,
Mark, look at the bears. And bears we saw.
In the windows, there you feel solidary.
I read, much of the night, and go strolling on sidewalks.
What are the distances that save lives, what grocery
Store shelves and workers? Child of adult,
You cannot say, or guess, for you know only
A bunch of images, cable news, where the president speaks,
And the ER gives no shelter, the doctors no relief,
And no sound advice. Only
There is breath under this face mask,
(Come in under the breath of this face mask),
And I will show you something different from either
Your selfies on social media posted by you
Or your selfies deleted by you;
I will show you fear in a hand unwashed.
风在吹
回家
我的Korean孩子
你在哪
"I sat there with Sally. We sat there, we two."
And I said, "How I wish we had something to do!"
Outside of 武汉China are some, faulting
Fellow humans for COVID19. For their own
April blues, who can blame Eliot? I
Blame the quarantine.
--J.K. Gayle
–J.K. Gayle
***
Rain came down like hail onto the world below, making a ruckus on the roof. Water droplets ran down the window, the natural phenomenon creating an artwork with the glass at its canvas.
The sound of clopping hooves can be heard as the home’s occupant entered the room, horn lit in a light green aura. Jade sighed as she levitated her mug of hot chocolate onto her desk before making her way over to the window. The unicorn stopped right in front of it, her reflection in the glass coming into view. Her coat was a light brown color, with her curly mane being a darker shade of brown. Jade maintained eye contact with the light green eyes of her reflection until a furry mass against her leg caught her attention.
“Hey, Eve.” She said as she looked down at the small, fat purring machine in the body of a tabby. The unicorn sat down on her haunches, one hoof petting the feline as she looked back out the window.
Jade levitated the mug full of hot chocolate over and took a sip, her taste buds relishing the chocolaty goodness of the drink. Ah, nothing like some hot chocolate on a rainy day.
Lightning cracked across the sky, illuminating the area with its bright light. The grass, once neatly raked, was rendered a muddy mess as the rain pelted mercilessly at the surface.
Jade was glad to be inside during the storm. She never liked the sensation of getting soaked by the rain. Sure, it sounds ridiculous, but she couldn’t help it. On the upside, it makes for a nice viewing spectacle for anyone inside their home with nothing to do.
Rain. A natural occurrence that can annoy a person while bringing life to the world. Nature is an amazing thing, too bad it can’t get rid of a virus.
After what felt like an hour, Jade used her magic to pick up Eve and went upstairs to bed, leaving the empty mug all alone on her desk.
–Victoria Duvall
***
A Row to Myself
On the plane I cried. I watched Forest Gump so that my tears would not be my own. I cried for my future loneliness. I was flying to a comfortable home and I had a row of economy plus to myself. There were no shades on the windows. The right side of the plane glowed purple, the left a super natural green. We were suspended in time. I watched Star Wars to feel triumph, to remind myself the collective wins in the end–in the movies at least.
I paced the opposite aisle and was frustrated to find a person in every row of the sparsely passengered plane. I wanted to investigate the green. I hadn’t bothered with the purple.
In the bathroom, my pores were huge in the surgical light. I looked at myself with pity, knowing this crisis would hit me softer than others. But also that it would suck for me more than yet others. Namely, those with partners.
I was having feelings about my feelings. One round was insufficient. That those with partners might dread confinement with them, didn’t occur to me.
A month ago I felt the same.
Time didn’t pause on the plane. It flew to San Francisco. Where is time going now? Somewhere green I hope, but I don’t know.
I have sheltered in this place for thirty years on and off. I run daily, nearly. It is three weeks since I arrived. I write daily, nearly. Twice now I have joined friends from three states in the quadrants of our screens to drink beer. We discuss where time is going and how long we think it might take to get there and what we’re doing in the meantime and how we feel about it. We could have done this before. I blame the quarantine.
–Allison Madigan, Santa Rosa, CA
***
“I blame the quarantine.”
A phrase that’s so short yet holds so much power, so much denial, so much fear.
I’ve heard it said in casual conversation as a tired mother laughed about forgetting to feed the dog, in hushed tones between friends as one worried why their partner stopped sending emojis at the end of their messages, in loud outbursts as a man threw his keys at a cashier because his coupon for peppers didn’t go through.
Blaming the quarantine has become so abundant, it’s almost our default, the first culprit in life’s current murder mystery. But while we’re so hellbent on catching the criminal, we forget about the real victim we’re leaving to bleed out: ourselves.
Whether speaking figuratively, how this pandemic has damaged all of our mental health and stability, or literally, how many of us are fighting for their lives against this deadly virus, one thing is certain.
We’re scared. We’re so scared of this new situation, because we don’t know what to do, that we lash out or break down crying or shut ourselves in our rooms for days on end.
But just because we’re lost doesn’t mean our actions are excused. We can’t continue to blame the quarantine for how we’ve chosen to react to this crisis. We can’t continue to lose our minds, when they’re one of the only things we have left.
So let’s stop blaming the quarantine. Hell, let’s stop calling it, “The Quarantine”, stop giving it power over us. Let’s start finding our solutions instead of avoiding our problems.
Start FaceTiming loved ones instead of facing the time alone, start leaving passive aggression in the past, accepting and apologizing for how we act.
Stop blaming the quarantine, and start challenging it, because we may be separated but we’re certainly not divided.
–Lillian Margaret Allen
***
I blame the quarantine, for having my dearest mother home with my sister and I. My father working long hours and still coming home to indulge in family game night. The school teachers we are so used to seeing sixty-five minutes a day down to just a “how are you?” through the computer screen. The dog has certainly gotten a great deal of walks since we have been home. The spring cleaning came early this year. It seems so surreal that so many people we may have never met are dying of this airborne virus. Social distancing has taught me to never take for granted the time we have with our friends at school. I will no more complain about the work that comes at the expense of my education. I know I would rather be in my highschool classrooms with some of the greatest teachers standing before me. My windows are open on the bright, sunny and warm spring days. The constant snacking will hopefully come to an end. We are uncertain what each day will bring and how we are supposed to keep all of our loved ones safe. My grandma living less than two miles down the road has not hugged her favorite grand-daughters in over two weeks. Although, my mom, sister and I have more than our fair share of quality mother-daughter time. From here on out, my days of painting, dog walking and quality time will soon be in the past. I blame the quarantine, for it not being able to last.
–Sarah Barber